William the Conqueror
died like he lived, violently and without pity. It was an attitude that served
him well as combined with his military prowess and strong sense of discipline
he was a formidable foe. If he hadn’t there is little doubt he would not have
lived long. Even as a young boy he had to use his wits to survive numerous
assassination attempts. Naturally these seminal events in his life forged him
into an intolerant, violent man.
For instance as a
young man his army laid siege to a castle and the foolhardy defenders decide it
will be amusing to hit skins and leather hides. This is a taunt against William
for being the bastard son of a tanner. They even scream abuse at him by calling
him the cruel nickname ‘William the Bastard’. This greatly infuriates William.
When he does succeed in ending the siege he takes several of the men as
prisoners, cuts them to pieces and lets them hang over the walls as a reminder
to all not to anger him. Little changes in his character when he is middle
aged. During the 1070’s an open rebellion breaks out in the north of England so
he lays waste to much of this region by killing everyone and demolishing all of
the homes.
One enemy he can not
defeat is the ravages of old age. Perhaps then it is fitting that what happens
to him during the 1087 siege of Mantes in France is as violent as the man
himself. The events preceding and leading up to the siege of Mantes offer us a
good insight into William’s character and influence upon others. At some point
he falls out with his eldest son, Robert and accordingly arranges for another
of his sons, William Rufus, to inherit the English throne for when he
eventually dies. Naturally enough Robert is not happy with this and King Philip
of France suggests they band together and take on William.
For Philip it is a
great opportunity to make mischief and with this in mind he taunts William by
suggesting he is now so obese that ‘The King of England keeps his bed like a
woman after she has had a baby’. William is not the kind of man to turn the
other cheek and retaliates by asking his messenger to ‘tell Philip that when I
go to Mass after the confinement, I’ll make him an offering of 100,000
candles’.
A month later, true
to his word, William is once again on the warpath. He surrounds Mantes, a city
the King of France holds and decides to wreck his revenge by burning down the
town. However things go terribly wrong when his horse manages to step on some
burning embers, raise its front legs suddenly in the air, shudders violently
and subsequently tosses William off his horse.
Due to William being
obese when he falls against the saddle pommel it crushes his abdomen and
instantly ruptures his internal organs. He is taken to a mall lodge outside the
city where his condition worsens as his stomach pain increases. Shortly after
he dies in agony.
Eventually his burial
arrangements are arranged but his misfortune now manages to descend into farce.
The first problem to emerge is the lack of nobles present to dignify his
burial. This occurs because they decide it will be wise to leave for home so as
to protect their possessions from rival attacks. The upshot of this is that
only their retainers are left in charge of his body. Temptation overtakes them
and according to the chronicler Orderic they "seized the arms, vessels,
clothing, linen, and all the royal furnishings, and hurried away leaving the
king's body almost naked on the floor of the house."
Eventually it is
agreed upon to take his body to Caen and bury it in the Church of St. Stephen.
However with all the royal dependents having left there is no one to make
preparations. It is left to an ordinary knight to make the funeral arrangements
and have the body conveyed down the Seine and then overland to Caen. There, as
the abbot and his monks come to meet his funeral cortege, a fire breaks out,
destroying the majority of the town. Everyone but the monks rush out to deal
with the fire leaving just them to complete the service.
To begin with William
is eulogized before the assembled bishops and abbots of Normandy, and a request
made that, if ever he has done wrong, he is to be forgiven. Then in a turn for
the bizarre a man called Ascelin appears all of a sudden and loudly bellows
that the church has been built on land forcibly acquired from his father whilst
William was duke. "Therefore I lay claim to this land, and openly demand
it, forbidding in God's name that the body of this robber be covered by earth
that is mine or buried in my inheritance." This is a great embarrassment
and the man is quickly compensated with sixty shillings for the place of burial
so as to appease him by William’s son, Henry.
However it is the
grotesque second event for which his burial will be remembered. When the late
King is lowered into a specially made sarcophagus it is found to be not big
enough for him due to his size. The monks present decide in desperation that
the way forward is to try to force his body into the coffin but only succeed in
tearing the corpse open and spilling the rotting internal organs out. The smell
from his rotting body is incredibly strong. Even the frankincense and spices of
the censers is not enough to mask the smell, and the rites are hurriedly
concluded. The appalling smell itself remains for many days, much to the
discomfort of the monks.
The Anglo-Saxon
Chronicle provides a scathing epitaph for him. "He who was earlier a
powerful king, and lord of many a land, he had nothing of any land but a
seven-foot measure; and he who was at times clothed with gold and with jewels,
he lay then covered over with earth."
If you think this was
bad spare a moment to consider the burial of King Henry VIII in 1547. By this
time he has ballooned to the point where he may have weighed anywhere from 25 –
30 stone in weight. As a consequence it takes sixteen powerful Yeomen of the
Guard to carry his lead coffin into the funeral service at the Bridgettine
monastery at Windsor. Even for these men though it is just too much and
unfortunately they drop his coffin whereupon it cracks open filling the chapel
with a very unpleasant odour. Soon after further embarrassment is caused
as dogs take it upon themselves to lick up what remains of his decaying
internal organs.
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